My Musings

My Son

2008-07-28T20:59:00.003+05:30

This a story that I wrote for my office buletin board.

I remember my son’s first day in school till date. His initial excitement was infectious. My husband spent every evening buying him things he needed for his school. A new bag, a water bottle, new uniform, pencil box, pencils, erasers, etc. He kept saying that our boy will grow up to be the best son in the world.

I drove him to his school. When I dropped him off at the gate to an affectionate looking school maid and started to leave, he called out, “Where are you going?” I promptly replied, “Home beta. I will pick you up in an hour. You be good okay” and kissed him on his forehead.

Probably at this point he realized that he will be left alone to take his first step into his new world. He looked scared. I could see that he was about to cry. I gave him a hug and assured him that I would be back in an hour to pick him up.

“Don’t go. Come with me.”, he said
“I can’t dear. This is your school. See none of the mothers are going in. Are all the other kids crying?”
“Don’t go.” He continued to say listening to nothing.
“You wait outside. I will see you from that window.” He said.

“Your little sister is waiting for me to come home. Please be a good boy and stay nice. I will get you the car you wanted if you are good.” Now the deal seemed good. “Okay ma. But come back soon. You will come na?”

“Yes dear, I will”.

Years later, I am sitting in this small dusty room with a small window waiting for my son to come to me. He promised that he will come and take me as soon as his new house was ready. He said it won’t be more than a week.

It’s been a year, I haven’t seen my son. After loosing my husband and daughter, he is all I have. I am still waiting for him to keep his promise the way I did when I left him in school on the first day…..

Dead End

2008-07-28T20:54:00.004+05:30

This is a story that I stated to write at least an year ago. I have finally finished it

2nd November

The phone rang. I was in the shower. I knew that Aadi will not be in a position to take the call. He had been drinking all night. “Probably he is still asleep.” I said to myself and wrapped a towel around me to go out and take the call.

“Hello, Madhu here.” I answered.
The voice on the other end was very familiar. It was Rishi.

My bother Manav & Rishi were best friends in college. They were inseparable. I and Rishi fell in love but we kept it a secret as we knew Manav would not approve. Rishi now worked for a law firm and was doing well. My husband on the other hand was a raging alcoholic. He was once a very successful doctor, but his lust for the bottle was stronger than the love for his profession.

Rishi’s father had died. Manav and Ayesha were on their way. My sister-in-law Ayesha and I never got along. She was a selfish woman full of vain and greed. Aadi disgusted her. Probably she was coming along to make sure I do not bond with my brother. I shook Aadi to wake him up & he swore.

5th November

“There was an accident on the highway 27 yesterday afternoon. It has claimed two lives. According to the police investigations, the bodies belong to Mr. & Mrs. Shah, the owners of the famous diamond jewellery showroom, Dazzle. According to their daughter the couple were returning after finishing a land deal in the village. The deal was closed at Rs. 10 crores. The buyer, Mr. Mehra, of the land confirmed the same. Mr. Mehra had paid a cheque of Rs. 5 crores and the rest by cash. According to him, the cash was in a huge red bag. The police found the cheque among the documents carried by Mr. Shah but the bag is missing. A search for the same is going on since last night. The police believe that the missing cash is much more than 5 crores as land deals always involves black money. Both Ms. Shah and Mr. Mehra are refusing to confirm this.”

The radio was reporting news in the small police station as I entered.
I wanted to talk, but my voice chocked. The policemen offered me water and I sat down to tell them what I had been dying to say. I handed them a bag and started to narrate.

“My name is Madhulika. I, my husband, Aditya, my brother Manav, my sister-in-law Ayesha and my friend Rishi were travelling back from Sonanpur. We were returning after finishing the last rites of my friend Rishi’s father. We left yesterday afternoon and just after we joined the highway, we spotted an accident.

A car was upside down and 2 people were trapped inside. We went to help them, but they were already dead. Their belongings were scattered on the field nearby. Rishi and I were trying to call the police when Aditya interrupted from behind. He had found a red bag full of money. Ayesha’s eyes were sparkling. They were against our decision to call. Manav surprisingly supported us, but Ayesha convinced him against it. They didn’t want to stand there so we drove off and checked in into the first drive-in lodge we could locate.

We had a discussion on what can be done with so much money. Aadi suggested that we split it among ourselves and spend it slowly. Ayesha immediately agreed. I was against it. Manav appeared to be in deep thought. ‘What if the police trace us?’ he asked. ‘No way. No body saw us. So please shut up.’ snapped Ayesha. I was taken aback by the way she spoke to my bother. Rishi was silently standing by the window observing us. ‘Why don’t you tell them it’s a bad idea rather than just standing there’, I asked. He was still silent.

‘Let’s just take a nap and then decide what we can do about it. We are all tired right now. We can make a decision by evening.’ he said after sometime. Everyone agreed and we went to our rooms. Aadi had already ordered a drink. I was very angry at his behaviour and decided to just sleep.

‘Can’t you hear anything you damn women? Someone is shouting’ shouted Aadi while waking me up. ‘You are hallucinating. Please sleep.’ I replied but seconds later I heard someone scream. We ran out. Manav’s room door was open. We went in and saw blood all over the place. I was shocked. Ayesha was also missing. I wanted to shout and call someone. Aadi put his hand on my mouth and dragged me away. ‘We will be caught with the money, you idiot. Just shut up and run.’ He said.

‘Aadi is right’ said Rishi. I was shocked. His best friend was missing, probably dead and he didn’t care. He just wanted to escape with the money. They dragged me and the money bag to the car and took off. I was too shocked to speak anything and I probably just fainted on the way. When I woke up, I was in a bed in a strange room. My head was spinning.

‘So you are okay now?’ enquired Rishi. ‘Where are we?’ I asked. ‘In a hotel. It became dark and you were ill, so we checked in here.’ He replied. ‘Where is Aadi?’ I asked. ‘In the bar’ he promptly replied. I was disgusted. I wanted to scream and cry. My brother was probably dead by now. My husband could not stop drinking. My friend, my true love seemed like a different person altogether. At this moment, probably reading my thoughts through my face, Rishi hugged me to console me.

‘I knew this will happen. You dirty women’ shouted Aadi from behind. He had a glass in his hand and I could see that he was totally drunk. ‘You killed Manav and Ayesha for the money and now you are convincing my wife to kill me also?’ said Aadi looking at Rishi. I was shocked. Did Rishi actually kill them? Before I could find a reply Rishi said, ‘Yes.’ He charged towards Aadi and started to stab him with a knife he had. Aadi also attacked him with the glass he was holding.

Too shocked by seeing this, I decided to get help. I grabbed the bag which started all this and started running till I reached here. Please go back and check what has happened to them. The hotel was called, Traveller’s Paradise. It’s about 10 minutes from here.”

The policeman stared at me for a while and started giving out instructions. He sent someone to the Hotel and asked a constable to start counting the money in the bag I brought.

12th December

The police could not find any bodies. They could just get some blood samples. The bag contained 5 crores. They enquired Ms. Shah and Mr. Mehra again and again about the actual amount of cash. They never changed their story. After a lot of interrogation, they decided that I had nothing to do with their disappearance. They found the knife which injured or killed Aadi, Manav & Ayesha. They also found the glass pieces used by Aadi to hurt Rishi. As the bodies could not be located, they were declared missing and I was left alone.

2nd February

“…..police are yet to find their bodies. This has become the most mysterious case since the disappearance of Mrs. Madhulika Goel in similar mysterious circumstances as the other four, two months ago. As the blood traces found in her bed matched with hers, the police have finally declared her also missing. No one has any clue about the people who could have taken away the bodies or killed Mrs Goel.
The parliament…..”

The radio was reporting as we were driving up the mountains. The bag indeed has more than 5 crores, 7.5 to be precise. It’s our good luck that the concerned people did not open their mouths. Now we have enough money to resolve all the personal problems we had and start a new life. It was Rishi’s idea actually. Aadi helped him stage all the killings. His medical skills were useful to us. Manav and Ayesha found the perfect hiding place for all of us. Now we are all rich and missing in police records. We will soon be declared dead and we have a lot of tax free money to enjoy our lives. “Come on Madhu, lets leave” called Ayesha from behind. “Coming”

The car sped off at a high speed uphill knocking off an already shaking sign board.
It read,

Dead End.
Steep fall ahead.
Don’t go beyond this point.

I am back

2008-07-28T20:38:00.002+05:30

It’s been 11 months 19 days since my last post. Life has changed a lot since I left Mumbai.

I started living away from my parents for the second time in my life (First was when I went to Trivandrum for job related training. That was only 6 weeks. This one is fore-ever)
I got engaged (in September) and then married (in February). This was the primary reason why I moved to Chennai.
I moved from Mylapore to Tambaram with my husband and mother-in-law. This happens to be my fourth house in the past one year.
I quit my job and moved to a new company.

Phew.... A lot of considering that my life was almost inert last year.

While in Bench (Without any constructive work in the new company), I happened to see a lot of my colleagues writing poems & stories for the office bulletin board which is a mail forum. Enthusiastically, I also wrote two stories, which a lot of people liked.

Those will constitute my next two posts. Two other stories are ‘In Progress’ state.

Now that I have constructive work in office (out of bench), they may be in 'In Progress' state for some time...

Goodbye Mumbai. Hello Chennai!!!

2007-08-10T20:34:00.000+05:30

Familiarity. Certainty. Security. This is what my home is to me. Venturing out and living in another city was an adventure I wanted to embark. The first time I left Mumbai for a prolonged period of time was 2 years ago. TCS trains all its new joiners in Trivandrum for six weeks. I looked forward to that trip. I enjoyed the six weeks thoroughly. I was sad to return to the normal life in Mumbai again. At that point I did not know what was in store after 2 years.

I applied for a transfer. The process was taking its own sweet time so the D-day looked far away. Suddenly everything fell into place and I was moving out. This time, permanently. I wasn't thrilled. Fear and uncertainty dominated my mind. My heart was aching. I couldn't look directly into my mother's sad eyes. Travel to the airport was mechanical. The check-in and boarding was no different. The realization came when the flight took off and I saw my beloved Mumbai from the sky. I knew that this was my final tear-eyed good bye to the city that has been my home for more than 23 years.

Chennai has always been my second home. Actually its my birth place. It’s been a week since I have been living here and I am already complaining about people and traffic the way I used to in Mumbai. My friends insist that my accent has already changed, which I know is not true. The familiarity is beginning, certainty is returning and security is strengthening. With passage of time I am sure this will become my home.

Shantaram contd...

2007-07-23T21:40:00.000+05:30

There are two ways to live. One either follows all the norms and does the right thing or one can fight and live life the way one wants to. Majority do the former. Exceptional few fall in the latter category. Gregory David Roberts is an exception. He has penned down a part of his life in a book which goes by the name Shantaram. I finished the book a week ago.

When he landed in Mumbai, he was a wanted criminal on run. The book describes his 8 years of life in Mumbai. In the first year here he lived in a village for 6 months and was given the name Shataram by the mother of his tourist guide, Prabhakar, who later on became one of his closest friends. He is not known by this name in the city. Yet Roberts decided to call his book Shantaram. Probably because it’s more Indian than Lin, the name by which he is actually known. Incidentally he is names Lin by Prabhakar.

Initially, he lived in slums, made his living by commission in the drug and black money market. Then he joined Bombay mafia, fought in Afghanistan, spent some time in Indian jail and also fell in love with a German.

The book is very huge but fast moving. In all it’s is an interesting book. If you love reading, go for it.

A pierced nose

2007-07-14T13:51:00.000+05:30

I was always fascinated by the diamond stud my mom wore on her nose. From past many years I also wanted one. I expressed my wish to my mother. She discouraged saying it’s not worth it & it’s very difficult to manage. In our customs, just before marriage a girl’s nose is pierced. My mother had to go through it against her wishes so she is biased about it. I mentioned it to my aunt. She shared agreed with my mother. I left it there.

A few months ago, I brought back the topic. She didn’t react to it. Yesterday, we happened to visit a jewellery store. I asked her again. She started to persuade me against it again. But a long argument & a mild tantrum later, she agreed. I got my nose pierced. It was painful for a few minutes.

Now I am getting used to a foreign object in the otherwise plain nose. I love it. Hope my opinion will not change with time.

Lonavala

2007-07-14T13:35:00.000+05:30

My parents decided to celebrate their 25 years of togetherness in Lonavala, which is a small hill station near Mumbai, with the entire family. So around 12 of us left for lonavala on the 10th of July. Lonavala is around a 1 ½ hour drive on the Mumbai - Pune expressway from our place. The road is very laid, so the car can be driven at more than 100 Kmph. Its monsoon season in Mumbai. It was pouring during most of the drive. The hills were covered with clouds and the weather was incredible.

The resort we had booked for our stay was on a hill. The road leading to it was damaged badly due to bad maintenance and heavy rains. The view from the room I decided to stay was that of the hills far away. We went to the bushy dam after lunch and a little rest. It was very crowded for a weekday. Mom, I & my cousin S went in to enjoy the cold water hitting our back. Later my aunts joined us. We spent the night playing cards and pulling each other’s legs.

The sunrise marked the 25th year of marital bliss for my parents. Also this day last year bomb blasts killed hundreds in the local trains of Mumbai.

A swim and meal later we went on a drive to the Amby valley city, which is around 12KM for lonavala. We drove through clouds all our way. We stopped at few places to enjoy the wind and rain. Only elite customers are allowed through the gates of the Amby valley city, so we drove back.

Two great days later we were back home to start the boring daily routine again from Thursday. I hope my parents celebrate their golden wedding anniversary in a similar way.

Shantaram

2007-07-06T15:40:00.000+05:30

Shantaram is the book that is keeping me busy right now. It’s the auto biography of Gregory David Roberts. I heard many friends of mine discuss the book & praise it. I wrote it on the back of my mind that I have to read it. When I saw the book at my uncle’s place in Chennai, I borrowed it. The book is 936 pages long. I started to read it to just see how it begins.

The first page hooked me to the book and finished few chapters at a stretch. I read it whenever I could in the bus, in the office, and at home. I have finished 1/3rd of the book and I liked it so far. Usually books with very detailed description bore me, but this is very different probably because it is real. The descriptions of early Bombay, the slums, etc are engrossing. I hope to finish this book soon & post a review here.

Oonjal (Swing)

2007-06-26T08:31:00.000+05:30

Whenever I enter my mama’s (uncle’s) house in Chennai, the first thing I notice or sit on is the oonjal they have in their living room. It’s strategically place in such a way that it does not hit any furniture around it even when swung very fast. I sleep there, I eat there, and I read there. Wish I can have one here in Mumbai. Unfortunately flats in Mumbai do not offer the luxury of space.

My Trip to Tirupati

2007-06-20T18:42:00.000+05:30

History

My mother decided to visit Tirupati by walk, if my brother gets into IIT. He did, three years ago. We could plan the trip only now. We reached Tirupati by train.

The climb begins

After registering the luggage through their transportation service, we started our journey at 2pm. The hills were steep and initial climb was only through steps. We took breaks every 250 steps initially but it decreased to 100 later. We saw people with kids and infants walking up. Some were applying haldi & kumkum to every step. Some were lighting camphor on each step. It was hot & tiring. After 2300 steps & 2 km later the journey looked easy when I saw a road.

Shock

My parents, who have taken this journey before, assured me that the next few km will be through the road. But we saw lots of steps after a small walk, which seemed like an impossible task now. But another 500 steps later came the promised easy route. There were long and small steps. It was cool & there was breeze. We also saw a deer park on the way. It started to rain & the next 3 km climb was very enjoyable.

The mountains

As we moved up, we joined the road that can be taken if one is not willing to climb. Small droplets of water fell on our face; there was a breathtaking view of the mountains from the road. All the exhaustion vanished, but the legs were still aching. Around 2 km of walk & 2900 steps later we reached a big gopuram.

Another set of stairs

These final stretches of stairs were the worst. We were all very very tired. But we started to walk up with the final bit of energy we had. The following 400 steps almost killed my legs. Then we started to walk up the slope with longer steps. The final walk took us to the seventh hill where lord Balaji resides.

Total steps: 3600
Total length: 9 km
Total time: 4 hours 15 minutes
Lesson learnt: My parents have more stamina than me. I really need to work on it.

The Temple

After a night stay, we went to the temple at 4-45 am. Thousands of people visit this temple every day. The way the management manages accommodation and Darshan is simply amazing. After one and half hours of walking along a queue, we got a darshan of 1 sec. The entire shrine was plated in gold. People were standing in queue to donate money in the hundi. Lord Balaji is rich!

Sweet Memories

2007-05-24T23:59:00.000+05:30

I was clearing up my personal folder in my PC & came across a folder I hadn’t seen for ages… “Trivandrum” It read. Inside I found some sweet memories. TCS mandates training for all freshers they recruit. I attended the training in Trivandrum, located in God’s own country, Kerala. We are taught a foreign language there. Luckily our batch was present during the foreign language week celebration.

We were asked to prepare for a singing competition. I am a terrible singer even in the bathroom, but the child in me dominated and nominated me for the same. Thank god there were no auditions. We were supposed to sing in French, a language I had been learning for barely 4 weeks.

We were given a tape and the lyrics in French. French is most non-phonetic language I have come across. We heard and wrote down sounds in Hindi. Got the song translated from the French professor. After lots of late night practices, we sang it on the stage. The video of the same is embedded below. Enjoy!!!

For all you know French, here is the lyrics, in French.

L'oiseau et la bulle.

Un poisson au fond d'un étang
Qui faisait des bulles qui faisait des bulles
Un poisson au fond d'un étang
Qui faisait des bulles pour passer le temps

Un oiseau vient près de l'étang
Regarder les bulles regarder les bulles
Un oiseau vient près de l'étang
Regarder les bulles c'est amusant

Que fais-tu joli poisson blanc
Moi je fais des bulles moi je fais des bulles
Que fais-tu joli poisson blanc
Moi je fais des bulles pour passer le temps

Plus j'en fais plus je suis content
Plus je fais des bulles plus je fais des bulles
Plus j'en fais plus je suis content
Des rouges ou des bleues selon le courant

Le poisson tout en discutant
A fait un bulle a fait une bulle
Le poisson tout en discutant
A fait un bulle pour monter dedans

Et la bulle portée par le vent
Et la belle bulle et la belle bulle
Et la bulle portée par le vent
A pris son envol le poisson dedans

L'oiseau est tombé dans l'étang
En voyant la bulle en voyant la bulle
L'oiseau est tombé dans l'étang
En voyant la bulle du poisson volant

Maintenant au fond de l'étang
L'oiseau fait des bulles l'oiseau fait des bulles
Maintenant au fond de l'étang
L'oiseau fait des bulles pour passer le temps

For translations... Use google language Tools....

My Team

2007-05-18T00:24:00.000+05:30

A lot of friends treat their office as just a work place, but I differ. What makes my work a lot more appealing is the team I have, with an interesting mix of people. I am leaving in a couple of weeks. Actually I must say I am hopeful that I will be leaving in a couple of weeks, if my managers ever find a replacement. Anyway, life goes on, but I will miss them all…

I have worked with Muktesh the most. A serious looking chatterbox! He also happens to be my rakhi brother, so naturally I am very fond of him. All thanks to him for my Hindi vocabulary improvement. In the beginning, I barely understood all the words he spoke. Now I do. I don’t know whether I have improved of he has worsened. His ability to recite impromptu poems few pages long without taking a pause to think, amazes me.

Seshadri came across as a very serious and intense guy at first, and then I saw his fun side. Now I am getting to know his sensitive side. My first impression of a person has never been so wrong before. He is smart, intelligent and creative; He writes poems in 3 different languages (Hindi, English and Tamil). He is the only Mumbai guy in my team.

Prabhu is my confidant. He is a sweet guy whom I can call any time in the night, just because I am bored. He knows everything about the current affairs in the project, the policies, the application and always has an opinion on any problem we face.

These three never leave a chance to pull my leg or trouble me. But I can’t do without them at all.

The most striking feature about my module lead is his long hair & wrinkles near his eye when he smiles. Abhishek is a shayar too. My team is damn creative. He is a Bhopal fan just like an ex-team mate, Ankit, who also happens to be a good friend of Abhishek. I love pulling pranks on Ankit, which is fun because he always falls for it.

Subhashree is a very quiet girl. But with the ruckus we create she has been successfully tempted to joining in. She reads palms & she is good at it. Probably because she said very nice things for me ;-). Naïve. That’s what I thought of Sumanta at first, but probably he is just masquerading. He always has interesting comments on all at any situation and always blushes at the mention of his “mandu” (GF in Oriya).
Sunil is quiet but witty. A silent listener. I fear people who fall in this category.

People around us have expressions of great gravity on their faces and look up to us for the free entertainment we provide. But I think the day is not far away when we will be thrown out of the office for the poetry and palmistry session we hold.

The team is incomplete without our client, Amit. He is a born manager with remarkable technical and business knowledge. A lethal combination. My interaction with him is personal and friendly, thus it is a pleasure working with him. He is always more than happy to join us in all our fun sessions!!!

I don’t think I will ever find a team like this for all these people aren’t just team mates or colleagues. They are friends, very good friends!!!

Distraction

2007-05-17T23:12:00.001+05:30

Sick and tired of being depressed about Richard.
I need a plan, a plan to get over my man.
What’s the opposite of man, jam?

This is what Monica (from the famous sitcom Friends) says when she is questioned about the obsessive jam making spree. Bottles of jam cannot solve heart break, but distraction can… Jam did that for her.

The picture above is an art called long stitch. I bought it for a well deserved distraction from work. I got the idea from the episode featuring the above “philosophy”. I started stitching in January and finally I have finished it... Planning to get it framed this weekend.

Sitcom

2007-05-14T22:59:00.000+05:30

When I hear the word sitcom, the first TV show that comes to my mind is Friends. I am sure many will agree with me. For all you people who don't know anything about Friends, I can give you a small brief. It’s about six friends who live close to each other in Manhattan. The characters are believable and the humor is fantastic. The weird and scrappy Phoebe, the snobbish and whiny Rachel, the perfectionist and cleanliness freak Monica, Chandler with his spontaneous humor, the always correct Ross and the charismatic actor Joey make it a delight to watch. I must have watched each and very episode at least 3 times, but I can’t get enough of it. You will read a lot about Friends in my posts.

Closer home, the show I like a lot is Sarabhai vs. Sarabhai. It definitely isn’t that popular, but it’s another great show. It’s about a family settled in Malabar hills in Mumbai, which is a very posh area. Rich, sophisticated and hypocritical Maya Sarabhai, who moves around with crème de la crème of the society wants a daughter-in-law like her, but she gets a “middle class” girl instead. Monisha, who is married to her elder doctor son Sahil, is stingy, dirty and “ekta-kapoor” serial lover. Maya's husband Indravardhan Sarabhai loves to pull a gig on her all the time and supports Monisha just to irritate her. Another great character in this show is Roshesh, the second son of Maya, who is an absolute mama’s boy & supports his momma no matter what. His irrational and non-rhyming poems are hilarious. Put in a tarot reader daughter, Sonya and annoying and technology freak son-in-law, Dushyant, they make the most dysfunctional family in TV (leaving out all the huge families of Ekta Kapoor). Episodes featuring the deaf brother-in-law of Indravardhan, Madhu Phupha, are hilarious. I am waiting for the second season to begin…

Baby Clothes

2007-05-11T21:40:00.000+05:30

I have seen pictures in many blogs. I was just curious to try posting one. I got a perfect chance today. My mom bought some new dresses for my 3 month old niece, Ananya. They were very cute. I wish such frocks were made for adults. ;-) My favorite is the blue and white frock. She was (and still very nuch is ) a cute little baby who just slept and wept when I last saw her. If I get hold of her pictures, I will post that too.

Spiderman

2007-05-10T22:22:00.000+05:30

Saw the movie Spiderman 3 yesterday. It was a good movie. I liked it, even though it drags at many places towards the end. Some emotional sequences could have been trimmed. And the emphasis on Peter liking the black suit could have been better. But what I liked the most about the movie is the computer graphics, which was top notch.

Some sequences I loved were, “Death” of Flint and then his re-birth of as sand man, the first fight sequence between Spiderman & Harry Osborn and the scene where Spiderman gets rid of his black suit on the sound of the bell purely for its picturization.

In this story, Peter Parker discovers his dark side, thanks to a black extra-terrestrial parasite that creeps into his house. It takes over his body while he is battling with the feeling of revenge inside him. According to his physicist, the parasite amplifies the aggression in its host. Due to this Spiderman picks up fights & almost kills 2 people. Though he loves being the dark hero, he chooses to be good at the end. I know I have given away the end, but trust me; it’s not that big a secret.

The movie reminds me of a story I read many years ago, “The strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” It is a famous novella written by Robert Louis Stevenson. After watching this movie I read the novella again today.

It was a book about Dr. Jekyll and his experiments to separate the evil soul he carried within him. He succeeds in creating an evil dual personality who goes by the name, Mr. Hyde from his own soul. Edward Hyde gets powerful and takes over the balanced Henry Jekyll in the end.

The movie highlights one philosophy in the end, “We all have choices in life between the easy and the correct. Our choices define us.” Very simple and very true!!!

A Love Story

2007-05-03T20:59:00.000+05:30

This is a small love story I wrote a few days ago. I haven’t been able to think of a good title, so I am just going to call it “Love Story”.

Running around the government offices is not my cup of tea. But after a certain point, there are only certain favours children can do for you. I was grateful to God for the loving the daughter-in-law I got. After I lost my wife, she has been a mother to me.

At the culmination of my life, I did not expect anything to turn my life around. I didn’t know what was waiting for me at the end of the corridor is about to do that. I could see the lift door closing on me. I could see a young girl of barely 20 inside. I tried my best to stop it with my walking stick, not expecting a help from her. But she seemed to belong to the rare species that cared for the elderly.

When I walked in, I saw a face so similar that it reminded me of Ritika. My friend, my beat friend, my first love, the long silky hair, the brown-blue angelic eyes, the cute dimple on her left cheek as she smiled. She was very unlike the girl of today. She was dressed in a simple pink salwar & had a smile on her face.

Mom had baked chocolate cake. Ritika loved it. She was coming over for the night. Her parents were out of town. We had a whole night of fun planned. We were best friends. She was two years my junior, yet we spent every free moment together in school. She was the prettiest girl in 8th standard. All my friends envied me.

A double knock told me that it was Ritika. She had very unique mannerisms. This was one of them. I wondered why she dislikes the bell. “It sounds like a buzzer”, she always said.

“Wow Aunty!!! I can smell cake. You are best.” She said the moment I opened the door.
“Beta, I was waiting for you. What took you so long?” enquired mom.
“I was in the shower. The humidity does not suit me” she replied.

We all had dinner and my parents went to sleep. I wanted to watch a movie, I downloaded. She wanted to finish her home work. We argued and she won, as usual. She sat down with her math book, biting her pencil trying to solve an algebraic equation. Her hair was loose and was falling on her face. She was playing with her hair.

My friends were right, she was very beautiful. She was my best friend. But lately my feelings were changing. I was attracted to her. Was she becoming more than a friend? If it had been a movie, I would probably be singing a song for her. Then a new thought stuck me, why not?

While she was busy with her math, I started to write a poem for her trying to tell her I want her to be more than a friend. But I could not. I was scared that I would hurt her. Meanwhile she finished her work and we sat down to watch the movie.

She fell asleep. I kept looking at her. “No!!! She is your best friend. Probably this is just a crush. It’s not worth loosing her over this. Shut up and go to sleep” I said to myself and fell asleep.

“Which floor sir?” she asked. “Third” I replied. The familiarity was remarkable. I wanted to talk to her, but the lift opened and she walked out. I put my thoughts behind and walked out behind her.
“Excuse me. Can you guide me to the pension department?” I asked her.
“I am going there sir. I will take you.” She held my hands and walked with me.

“What are you looking for?” She asked me the moment we entered the department.
“My address has changed. I came here before and filled out the required forms. Yet my pension checks go to my old address. At this age I cannot run around the office all the time. I want to sort out this problem.”

She thought carefully and asked me to have a seat. She went inside the officer’s cabin and spoke to a middle aged man. Then she came out with a few forms. “Sir, please fill this out. I think the office has lost your previous forms.” She said.

“Thanks!! You are very polite. It’s rare in today’s generation. Do you work here?” I asked while writing the forms.

“No, my father works here. I am still studying.” She said while pointing to the officer’s cabin door. I filled out the forms and thanked her again for helping me.

“What are you studying?” I asked before leaving.
“Architecture”, she replied.
“Sir, this is my contact number. If you have any other problems, you can call. You need not come here.” She added while handing me a piece of paper. Before I could say anything, her father called out to her & she ran in.

Shalini
9826547810

The piece of paper said.

I was praying to god that she gets it. Ritika was trying to get an admission the junior college I was passing out of. Her 10th score was good. The chances were good. She wanted to study in the college her best friend studied. I was touched.

I had unsuccessfully tried to leave behind my feelings for her from the past two years. I tried to control the rage in my heart I felt every time she spoke to Rajeev. I wondered all night what attracted her to him. He was handsome. He was a college topper. He played football, the game she loved. “But I can do all that. I will study harder from tomorrow & learn football” I kept saying this to myself every night. “Or should I just tell her how I feel?” I never knew.

There was the typical knock again on the door. I knew it was Ritika. Mom opened the door.
“I got it. I got it. I got it.” She kept shouting. There was a chocolate in her hand. This was a new habit she has picked up. She said she loved it. And Rajeev made sure she was never out of it.

“Congrats! I knew you would get it” I said walking up to her. She hugged me & said, “All because of you dear. You are best friend. I knew that as long as you are there for me, I can get any thing I want”.

The hug seemed like eternity. But the word “Best Friend” pinched my heart. It was ironic. I loved to hear her call me that before.
“Look what Rajeev gave.” She said showing me her new bracelet. It was a thin chain and little stars were hanging from it. I wanted to rip it off and confess my growing fondness and love for her. “Fondness!! That’s it. You are not in love. It’s not worth spoiling your friendship” an inner voice said. I looked at her. She was happy. That is all I wanted.

“Aunty, mom asked me to come home early. I have top go.” she said while running away. She shouted “Bye Vicky” before closing the door.

“Daadhu”, my grandson called out. Few days has passed. My second grandson has started to talk. I was very happy the day he called me dhoodhoo few months ago. Now he could pronounce better.

Few days has passed since I had met Shalini. She was out of my mind for some time. I suddenly remembered her when I saw her number on the piece of paper that I that kept in my draw. I keep wondering about that little polite girl. I decided to call her. The phone kept ringing. “Was she busy? Probably in college. I must not disturb.” I kept thinking. At this moment she answered.

“Hello.” Her voice was sweet but it was sad.
“Hello beta. I am the old man you helped with the address the other day. Remember?”
“Of course. How are you sir? Dad said the address change will be taken care of.”
“I am fine beta. I called to thank you.”
“It’s my duty sir. You need not thank me.”

“Beta, you sound very sad to me. If don’t mind, I want to help you if there is a problem.”
“It’s nothing sir.”
“Call me daadhu beta.” I interrupted.
“Okay. Daadhu. You can call me shallu. It’s nothing. I am just a bit upset.”
“Please shallu. Let me help. Sharing pain reduces it. If you want I can meet you. Where are you?”

“I am near the children’s park at the end of the market road.”
“I will meet you in the park in 10 minutes”

I reached the park and she was sitting on a swing. Ritika loved the swing. We sat down and started talking. She told me that her grand mom is ill & has been taken to the hospital. She seemed extremely attached to her grand mother. As we were talking, she started crying. I consoled her and sent her home. She told me she felt better and thanked me for being so nice to her.

Ritika was crying. Rajeev had broken her heart. I felt like hunting him down and killing him. Four years had passed since she had joined the junior college, since Rajeev gave her the bracelet. Their friendship grew. Whenever I sulked, she assured me that I was and will always be her best friend.

For six years I convinced myself that I wasn’t in loved. I tried harder when she started dating Rajeev. I hated him for that. I hated him more when he dumped her for another girl in our college who was “modern & sexy”.

Ritika was a simple girl with a very clean heart. Her head was on my shoulder. She was un-consolable. I pacified her. I took her out for a nice dinner & we watched a nice movie together after the Rajeev bitching session. As she was leaving, she hugged me.
“I am so lucky to have a friend like you. You are the best friend anyone can ever get”.

We parted. I looked into her eyes and she looked into mine. My heart was beating very fast. I wanted to hold her and kiss her. And then tell her all that I had been feeling for six years. But we were just silent for a long time.

“I have to go now.” She said before breaking the eye contact. I knew it was love. I was sure it was no crush or infatuation. I wanted her to know how I felt. I stopped her as she was opening the door to leave.

“What?” Words failed me. “Nothing. Good night.” I said. She left. “She was sad. I will tell her later. Probably on her birthday.” I told myself and went to sleep.

I wanted to surprise her on her birthday, but instead, she surprised me. Rajeev has called to apologise. She decided to accept it. I did what I had been doing for so many years now. Kept quiet.

“Happy birthday”, Rajni said. She has made gulab jamuns, my favorite. My son came home early. My grand children are happy. We dinned together after a long time. My grand daughter made me a little drawing of me and my wife. It was turning out to be one of the happiest days of my life.

I am still in touch with Shallu enquiring about her grand mother. She is a very ambitious girl and wants to be famous. She is creative. I wish & pray that she achieves what she wants. I want to know more about her family. Probably she is related to Ritika.

I haven’t changed in all these years. I did not have the courage then, I do not have the courage now. But I am happy to find a friend in a 20 year old girl. She is also surprised that she can talk so comfortably with a 70 year old man.

We discuss her college, her boy friend, her teachers, her dreams & aspirations, her fondness for her elder sister who is getting married in a few days. But it has been few days since she has called. She is probably busy with the wedding.

“My grand mom is very sick.” she said. We were in the park. “Also my sister left. I suddenly feel very alone in my own house without the two very important people in my life.” The mehendi from her sister’s wedding is still dark. It reminded me of Ritika’s.

It was the most memorable and happy day for Ritika & the worst day of my life. It was her wedding day. She was going to marry Rajeev. I cursed myself every night since her birthday for not kissing her the night Rajeev broke her heart.

I could not bear the decorated building, the hall and the clothes and jewellery she kept showing to my mom. I wanted to throw away everything and tell her that I was crazy about her. And that I wanted to marry her.

But she was my friend. She was happy. Our eyes kept meeting across the marriage hall. It seemed that she wanted to tell me something. She even cornered me once, but I slipped off. I was angry with her for no fault of hers. She could sense it. But I avoided her.

She married him. They were going away to a different city. She hugged me before she left. “Vicky, I will miss you. I know I can never find a friend like you. You mean a lot to me. I hope you know that. Please keep in touch.” she said.

But I didn’t. I could not. That was the last time I saw her, touched her and spoke to her. I left the country on a job. I heard, she had a daughter, from a common friend. I didn’t go to meet her. I was angry. Not with her. Not with Rajeev. With myself. Just myself, for being so coward.

“Nani died this morning.” It was Shallu. She was crying. We met at the park. I consoled her. She refused to go home to see the last rites of her grand mother. I convinced and took her home.

As we moved closer, I saw her grand mother. I got the rudest shock of my life. It was Ritika. No wonder Shallu reminded her of me. There she was. I saw her after so many years. My entire teens came flashing.

My best friend. My first love. The girl who was once was my life was dead. I was still angry. Not at her, but myself for throwing her out of my life for no fault of hers. For not having the courage to tell her the truth.

Many days have passed. Shallu called. She was cleaning her grand mother’s room & found her diary. Some were more than fifty years old. She asked me to come over. She wanted me to see what she has written. After the body was taken I told Shallu everything about me & Ritika. She was shocked, but understood.

I walked into Ritika’s room and Shallu was sitting there.
“Daadhu, just see what I found. I knew you would want to read this. You can take it home, if you want.”

Dear Diary,

It’s my first day in the new school. I made a new friend today, Vicky. That’s what his mom calls him. Isn’t it funny? He was good to me.

Dear Diary,
Mom & Dad are out of town. I am at Vicky’s place. Aunty made a nice chocolate cake for me. We just watched a romantic movie. He is so special. He is my best friend. Is he just a friend? I am not sure. But I really like him.

Dear Diary,
Rajeev is good to me, but I still like Vicky more. But I don’t think he feels like that. Initially I felt he was jealous of Rajeev. I was so happy, but I don’t think it is true.

Dear Diary,
I got into Vicky’s junior college like I always wanted. I think I am falling in love with him, but he just thinks of me as his best friend. I hope he would be more expressive. Rajeev gave me a bracelet. That did not make Vicky jealous at all. I hope he is jealous.

Dear Diary,
Rajeev has been very mean to me lately. I think he likes that new girl Simran. He denied it today, but I have my doubts.

Dear Diary,
Rajeev confessed that he made out with Simran. This is the worst day of my life. Thank god I have Vicky with me. He was so nice to me. He took me out for dinner & then also watched a movie with me. Today when he looked into my eyes, I knew it was not just a normal glance.
I am in love with him. But he didn’t say anything. When he stopped me, I was sure he is going to say something, but he didn’t. I hope he takes my hint.

Dear Diary,
It’s my birthday. I am happy. I just can’t stop thinking about Vicky. Why doesn’t he love me back? I hope he does. This is my birthday wish. I want him to love me the way I love him.
Rajeev called and apologised. I told Vicky, but he didn’t say anything. He seemed happy for me. I have forgiven Rajeev. I think he is better for me. At least he loves me.

Dear Diary,
Rajeev wants to marry me. Vicky was happy to know that. I was wrong all this time. Vicky just sees me as a friend. It’s no use waiting for him to say anything. I think I should say yes to Rajeev.

Dear Diary,
I am married. Vicky looked very distracted and upset today. I thought he would be happy for me. He isn’t telling me what I worrying him. I hope he is fine. I have to leave tomorrow. I could not talk to him alone. I will call him later.

Dear Diary,
Vicky left the country, He didn’t even tell me. Why is he doing this? What did I do to hurt him? Oh god, give me one chance to meet him. I want to ask him.

Dear Diary,
I am a mother now. I made sure Vicky finds out. He hasn’t called or come to meet me. Why? He is my best friend, My first love. Oh god, please sort this out.

Dear Diary,
I became a grand mother today, I never heard from Vicky. I hope he is happy. God, give me one chance to tell him that I was in love with him.

Dear Diary,
My life is going to end soon. God, where is my Vicky. I hope I find him up there.

My pension check came to my current address. My life is back to the routine. My meetings with shallu are still continuing. She asks many questions about Ritika.

I hate myself now, for being such a coward all my life. I really hope I meet my Ritika up there and tell her how much I regret not telling her how much I loved her.

The END

My First Post

2007-05-01T15:36:00.000+05:30

Many friends of mine have a blog. It always amazed me how easily they could express their thoughts, opinions & their creativity. So I had decided to give it a try. I am planning to put what ever I think is worth making public. Wish me luck.