Thursday 3 May 2007

A Love Story

This is a small love story I wrote a few days ago. I haven’t been able to think of a good title, so I am just going to call it “Love Story”.


Running around the government offices is not my cup of tea. But after a certain point, there are only certain favours children can do for you. I was grateful to God for the loving the daughter-in-law I got. After I lost my wife, she has been a mother to me.

At the culmination of my life, I did not expect anything to turn my life around. I didn’t know what was waiting for me at the end of the corridor is about to do that. I could see the lift door closing on me. I could see a young girl of barely 20 inside. I tried my best to stop it with my walking stick, not expecting a help from her. But she seemed to belong to the rare species that cared for the elderly.
When I walked in, I saw a face so similar that it reminded me of Ritika. My friend, my beat friend, my first love, the long silky hair, the brown-blue angelic eyes, the cute dimple on her left cheek as she smiled. She was very unlike the girl of today. She was dressed in a simple pink salwar & had a smile on her face.

Mom had baked chocolate cake. Ritika loved it. She was coming over for the night. Her parents were out of town. We had a whole night of fun planned. We were best friends. She was two years my junior, yet we spent every free moment together in school. She was the prettiest girl in 8th standard. All my friends envied me.

A double knock told me that it was Ritika. She had very unique mannerisms. This was one of them. I wondered why she dislikes the bell. “It sounds like a buzzer”, she always said.

“Wow Aunty!!! I can smell cake. You are best.” She said the moment I opened the door.
“Beta, I was waiting for you. What took you so long?” enquired mom.
“I was in the shower. The humidity does not suit me” she replied.

We all had dinner and my parents went to sleep. I wanted to watch a movie, I downloaded. She wanted to finish her home work. We argued and she won, as usual. She sat down with her math book, biting her pencil trying to solve an algebraic equation. Her hair was loose and was falling on her face. She was playing with her hair.

My friends were right, she was very beautiful. She was my best friend. But lately my feelings were changing. I was attracted to her. Was she becoming more than a friend? If it had been a movie, I would probably be singing a song for her. Then a new thought stuck me, why not?

While she was busy with her math, I started to write a poem for her trying to tell her I want her to be more than a friend. But I could not. I was scared that I would hurt her. Meanwhile she finished her work and we sat down to watch the movie.

She fell asleep. I kept looking at her. “No!!! She is your best friend. Probably this is just a crush. It’s not worth loosing her over this. Shut up and go to sleep” I said to myself and fell asleep.


“Which floor sir?” she asked. “Third” I replied. The familiarity was remarkable. I wanted to talk to her, but the lift opened and she walked out. I put my thoughts behind and walked out behind her.
“Excuse me. Can you guide me to the pension department?” I asked her.
“I am going there sir. I will take you.” She held my hands and walked with me.

“What are you looking for?” She asked me the moment we entered the department.
“My address has changed. I came here before and filled out the required forms. Yet my pension checks go to my old address. At this age I cannot run around the office all the time. I want to sort out this problem.”

She thought carefully and asked me to have a seat. She went inside the officer’s cabin and spoke to a middle aged man. Then she came out with a few forms. “Sir, please fill this out. I think the office has lost your previous forms.” She said.

“Thanks!! You are very polite. It’s rare in today’s generation. Do you work here?” I asked while writing the forms.

“No, my father works here. I am still studying.” She said while pointing to the officer’s cabin door. I filled out the forms and thanked her again for helping me.

“What are you studying?” I asked before leaving.
“Architecture”, she replied.
“Sir, this is my contact number. If you have any other problems, you can call. You need not come here.” She added while handing me a piece of paper. Before I could say anything, her father called out to her & she ran in.

Shalini
9826547810

The piece of paper said.


I was praying to god that she gets it. Ritika was trying to get an admission the junior college I was passing out of. Her 10th score was good. The chances were good. She wanted to study in the college her best friend studied. I was touched.

I had unsuccessfully tried to leave behind my feelings for her from the past two years. I tried to control the rage in my heart I felt every time she spoke to Rajeev. I wondered all night what attracted her to him. He was handsome. He was a college topper. He played football, the game she loved. “But I can do all that. I will study harder from tomorrow & learn football” I kept saying this to myself every night. “Or should I just tell her how I feel?” I never knew.

There was the typical knock again on the door. I knew it was Ritika. Mom opened the door.
“I got it. I got it. I got it.” She kept shouting. There was a chocolate in her hand. This was a new habit she has picked up. She said she loved it. And Rajeev made sure she was never out of it.

“Congrats! I knew you would get it” I said walking up to her. She hugged me & said, “All because of you dear. You are best friend. I knew that as long as you are there for me, I can get any thing I want”.

The hug seemed like eternity. But the word “Best Friend” pinched my heart. It was ironic. I loved to hear her call me that before.
“Look what Rajeev gave.” She said showing me her new bracelet. It was a thin chain and little stars were hanging from it. I wanted to rip it off and confess my growing fondness and love for her. “Fondness!! That’s it. You are not in love. It’s not worth spoiling your friendship” an inner voice said. I looked at her. She was happy. That is all I wanted.

“Aunty, mom asked me to come home early. I have top go.” she said while running away. She shouted “Bye Vicky” before closing the door.


“Daadhu”, my grandson called out. Few days has passed. My second grandson has started to talk. I was very happy the day he called me dhoodhoo few months ago. Now he could pronounce better.

Few days has passed since I had met Shalini. She was out of my mind for some time. I suddenly remembered her when I saw her number on the piece of paper that I that kept in my draw. I keep wondering about that little polite girl. I decided to call her. The phone kept ringing. “Was she busy? Probably in college. I must not disturb.” I kept thinking. At this moment she answered.

“Hello.” Her voice was sweet but it was sad.
“Hello beta. I am the old man you helped with the address the other day. Remember?”
“Of course. How are you sir? Dad said the address change will be taken care of.”
“I am fine beta. I called to thank you.”
“It’s my duty sir. You need not thank me.”

“Beta, you sound very sad to me. If don’t mind, I want to help you if there is a problem.”
“It’s nothing sir.”
“Call me daadhu beta.” I interrupted.
“Okay. Daadhu. You can call me shallu. It’s nothing. I am just a bit upset.”
“Please shallu. Let me help. Sharing pain reduces it. If you want I can meet you. Where are you?”

“I am near the children’s park at the end of the market road.”
“I will meet you in the park in 10 minutes”

I reached the park and she was sitting on a swing. Ritika loved the swing. We sat down and started talking. She told me that her grand mom is ill & has been taken to the hospital. She seemed extremely attached to her grand mother. As we were talking, she started crying. I consoled her and sent her home. She told me she felt better and thanked me for being so nice to her.

Ritika was crying. Rajeev had broken her heart. I felt like hunting him down and killing him. Four years had passed since she had joined the junior college, since Rajeev gave her the bracelet. Their friendship grew. Whenever I sulked, she assured me that I was and will always be her best friend.

For six years I convinced myself that I wasn’t in loved. I tried harder when she started dating Rajeev. I hated him for that. I hated him more when he dumped her for another girl in our college who was “modern & sexy”.

Ritika was a simple girl with a very clean heart. Her head was on my shoulder. She was un-consolable. I pacified her. I took her out for a nice dinner & we watched a nice movie together after the Rajeev bitching session. As she was leaving, she hugged me.
“I am so lucky to have a friend like you. You are the best friend anyone can ever get”.

We parted. I looked into her eyes and she looked into mine. My heart was beating very fast. I wanted to hold her and kiss her. And then tell her all that I had been feeling for six years. But we were just silent for a long time.

“I have to go now.” She said before breaking the eye contact. I knew it was love. I was sure it was no crush or infatuation. I wanted her to know how I felt. I stopped her as she was opening the door to leave.

“What?” Words failed me. “Nothing. Good night.” I said. She left. “She was sad. I will tell her later. Probably on her birthday.” I told myself and went to sleep.

I wanted to surprise her on her birthday, but instead, she surprised me. Rajeev has called to apologise. She decided to accept it. I did what I had been doing for so many years now. Kept quiet.


“Happy birthday”, Rajni said. She has made gulab jamuns, my favorite. My son came home early. My grand children are happy. We dinned together after a long time. My grand daughter made me a little drawing of me and my wife. It was turning out to be one of the happiest days of my life.

I am still in touch with Shallu enquiring about her grand mother. She is a very ambitious girl and wants to be famous. She is creative. I wish & pray that she achieves what she wants. I want to know more about her family. Probably she is related to Ritika.

I haven’t changed in all these years. I did not have the courage then, I do not have the courage now. But I am happy to find a friend in a 20 year old girl. She is also surprised that she can talk so comfortably with a 70 year old man.

We discuss her college, her boy friend, her teachers, her dreams & aspirations, her fondness for her elder sister who is getting married in a few days. But it has been few days since she has called. She is probably busy with the wedding.

“My grand mom is very sick.” she said. We were in the park. “Also my sister left. I suddenly feel very alone in my own house without the two very important people in my life.” The mehendi from her sister’s wedding is still dark. It reminded me of Ritika’s.

It was the most memorable and happy day for Ritika & the worst day of my life. It was her wedding day. She was going to marry Rajeev. I cursed myself every night since her birthday for not kissing her the night Rajeev broke her heart.

I could not bear the decorated building, the hall and the clothes and jewellery she kept showing to my mom. I wanted to throw away everything and tell her that I was crazy about her. And that I wanted to marry her.

But she was my friend. She was happy. Our eyes kept meeting across the marriage hall. It seemed that she wanted to tell me something. She even cornered me once, but I slipped off. I was angry with her for no fault of hers. She could sense it. But I avoided her.

She married him. They were going away to a different city. She hugged me before she left. “Vicky, I will miss you. I know I can never find a friend like you. You mean a lot to me. I hope you know that. Please keep in touch.” she said.

But I didn’t. I could not. That was the last time I saw her, touched her and spoke to her. I left the country on a job. I heard, she had a daughter, from a common friend. I didn’t go to meet her. I was angry. Not with her. Not with Rajeev. With myself. Just myself, for being so coward.


“Nani died this morning.” It was Shallu. She was crying. We met at the park. I consoled her. She refused to go home to see the last rites of her grand mother. I convinced and took her home.

As we moved closer, I saw her grand mother. I got the rudest shock of my life. It was Ritika. No wonder Shallu reminded her of me. There she was. I saw her after so many years. My entire teens came flashing.

My best friend. My first love. The girl who was once was my life was dead. I was still angry. Not at her, but myself for throwing her out of my life for no fault of hers. For not having the courage to tell her the truth.

Many days have passed. Shallu called. She was cleaning her grand mother’s room & found her diary. Some were more than fifty years old. She asked me to come over. She wanted me to see what she has written. After the body was taken I told Shallu everything about me & Ritika. She was shocked, but understood.

I walked into Ritika’s room and Shallu was sitting there.
“Daadhu, just see what I found. I knew you would want to read this. You can take it home, if you want.”


Dear Diary,

It’s my first day in the new school. I made a new friend today, Vicky. That’s what his mom calls him. Isn’t it funny? He was good to me.


Dear Diary,
Mom & Dad are out of town. I am at Vicky’s place. Aunty made a nice chocolate cake for me. We just watched a romantic movie. He is so special. He is my best friend. Is he just a friend? I am not sure. But I really like him.


Dear Diary,
Rajeev is good to me, but I still like Vicky more. But I don’t think he feels like that. Initially I felt he was jealous of Rajeev. I was so happy, but I don’t think it is true.


Dear Diary,
I got into Vicky’s junior college like I always wanted. I think I am falling in love with him, but he just thinks of me as his best friend. I hope he would be more expressive. Rajeev gave me a bracelet. That did not make Vicky jealous at all. I hope he is jealous.


Dear Diary,
Rajeev has been very mean to me lately. I think he likes that new girl Simran. He denied it today, but I have my doubts.


Dear Diary,
Rajeev confessed that he made out with Simran. This is the worst day of my life. Thank god I have Vicky with me. He was so nice to me. He took me out for dinner & then also watched a movie with me. Today when he looked into my eyes, I knew it was not just a normal glance.
I am in love with him. But he didn’t say anything. When he stopped me, I was sure he is going to say something, but he didn’t. I hope he takes my hint.


Dear Diary,
It’s my birthday. I am happy. I just can’t stop thinking about Vicky. Why doesn’t he love me back? I hope he does. This is my birthday wish. I want him to love me the way I love him.
Rajeev called and apologised. I told Vicky, but he didn’t say anything. He seemed happy for me. I have forgiven Rajeev. I think he is better for me. At least he loves me.


Dear Diary,
Rajeev wants to marry me. Vicky was happy to know that. I was wrong all this time. Vicky just sees me as a friend. It’s no use waiting for him to say anything. I think I should say yes to Rajeev.


Dear Diary,
I am married. Vicky looked very distracted and upset today. I thought he would be happy for me. He isn’t telling me what I worrying him. I hope he is fine. I have to leave tomorrow. I could not talk to him alone. I will call him later.


Dear Diary,
Vicky left the country, He didn’t even tell me. Why is he doing this? What did I do to hurt him? Oh god, give me one chance to meet him. I want to ask him.


Dear Diary,
I am a mother now. I made sure Vicky finds out. He hasn’t called or come to meet me. Why? He is my best friend, My first love. Oh god, please sort this out.


Dear Diary,
I became a grand mother today, I never heard from Vicky. I hope he is happy. God, give me one chance to tell him that I was in love with him.


Dear Diary,
My life is going to end soon. God, where is my Vicky. I hope I find him up there.


My pension check came to my current address. My life is back to the routine. My meetings with shallu are still continuing. She asks many questions about Ritika.

I hate myself now, for being such a coward all my life. I really hope I meet my Ritika up there and tell her how much I regret not telling her how much I loved her.


The END

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Simply superb...Its not that I have ever read, heard or seen something like this. But the imotion you have brought into this piece makes special. Keep Writing...

Happy.

Anusha said...

@anon - Thanks.

@thiru - Kindalu adikada. Write comments in English.

Unknown said...

sis...u surprise everyday..........very nice.

The Junkie said...

Awesome!!
yes its derived from the e-mail doing the rounds, but this is much deeper.....ahhh i wish people leave their egos (the girls giving the guys hints that they really dont get) and their emotions for self (the fear that guys have) and make their own lives better....good going!!

Anusha said...

@junkie aka abhishek
Thanks!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Good words.